Damn you insomnia.
Damn you to heck.

So yea, I'm only dating two ladies at the moment now.
I dropped one at the beginning of the week.
Too aggressive sexually for me.
At least for a relationship that was barely reaching the two month point.

I guess now would be a good time to remind everyone where I stand.
Cuz I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but I am finding things I'd like to avoid.

In my lifetime, I've had two serious relationships.
Both of them lasting roughly three and a half years in length.
Both of them seemingly on the path to marriage.
Both ending on bad notes.
The first bad enough to start my relationship with alcohol.
The second bad enough to spend about 3k in one night at a casino.
The fun thing about heartbreak, it really leaves you emotionally/mentally unstable.
Stories for another time I guess.

It's because of these past two relationships I'm now on a dating multiple ladies at the same time policy.
I want to take things pretty slowly.
Use the dating process to filter out any red flags.
REALLY make sure I'm not wasting more time.
That's understandable right?

It's not like I'm man-whoring it up either.
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not the "hit it an' quit it" type of guy.
Because a part of me is always looking long-term.
It's not rushing it, but it is aware of it.
As far as physical intimacy goes, nothing past oral.
Cuz playing "Just the tip" would just get out of hand for me.

I reserve that "fun" aspect for a serious relationship.
Cuz if either one of us messes up, it's a lifetime commitment.
I'm a fan of healthy, stable environments to grow up in.

Which brings me back to the lady I dropped earlier this week.
Possible nympho.
She just wanted to go all the way often.
For those that are curious, flashback to my blind date story that took place at Starbucks.

Mmmhmm.

Had to go an' make things hard on me all the time.
The breakup not quite as smooth as I'd like either.
I forget the exact conversations, but there was boobage involved.
Why is that so bad?
It wasn't, she wanted me to say goodbye to 'em.
I just left my cellphone at her home an' had to head back later that day to pick it up.

"You came back for more?"
"Not really. I left my Helio here... I'm hoping you didn't break it."
Again, the conversation's kinda fuzzy now.
Probably could've made for a solid cellphone advertisement though.

So there you have it.
Nice lil' recap on my relationship views at the moment.
Might be down to 0 by the end of the week, might be up to 5.
Who knows?
It is getting closer to cuddling season.

Yes, I'm still open to blind dates.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 28
The Random Quote:
"Beauty is just a light-switch away." - Anonymous

Standard repost for the non-myspace crowds.

And then I work my last day at Frys.

Sunday, October 7
My last day working at Frys Electronics.
Wasn't hungover from drinking from 9pm-7am like the previous day.
Liver hated me too much.

If you ask any of the employees, they all have something they'd like to do on their last day of work there.
Kick the manager in the nuts.
Steal something expensive.
Get on the PA an' start listing people they hate Half Baked style.
Yell back at customers.

Which is what I did.
I was at maximum sarcasm that day.
"No. We don't sell computers. We only carry groceries. See the fresh fish?"
But only to the customers that came in with attitudes.
The others I did in a jokingly manner.
Apparently my sarcasm's comedy.

So I used to work in Appliance/Telecom.
Telecom specifically.
Our main comp is right by the cd/dvd selections.
For some god-awful reason, even though we're standing next to phones, people ALWAYS come over to us asking for help to find a cd/dvd from the software department.

The following conversation came about because the customer literally pushed aside the other one I was helping at the time. For the sake of this post, I shall refer to him as Male Diva.

Male Diva: You don't seem too busy cuz I need help.
Me: Well, I'm kinda in the middle of answering her questions right now.
Male Diva: That's great... so I'm tryin' to find the soundtrack for Good Luck Chuck...
Me: So, you don't even care that I was helping her out? 'Cuz yours is a software question, hers is a Telecom question.
*At this point I raise my badge up.
See my badge? It says Telecom Sales. Because this is the Telecom Department. The area with all of the phones. Did you ask anybody from Software first?
Male Diva: ...no.
Me: Did you even bother looking for anyone from Software?
Male Diva: ...no.
Me: So you came to me, Telecom Sales because you needed help finding the SOUNDTRACK to Good Luck Chuck?
*Soundtrack selections being right behind us conveniently under the section that says "Soundtrack"
Male Diva: Umm... yea.
Me: So you want the SOUNDTRACK to Good Luck Chuck? Good Luck Chuck that starts with the letter "G"?
Male Diva: ....
Me: The SOUNDTRACK to GOOD LUCK CHUCK? G as in GOOD LUCK CHUCK?
Male Diva: ....yes.
Me: Normally there should be a couple associates in the Software section to help out. But I'm sure lovely young lady here wouldn't mind if a TELECOM guy went over to the SOUNDTRACKS SECTION RIGHT BEHIND US IN SOFTWARE to look thru every cd for you starting with the letter "A" because we're trying to find GOOD LUCK CHUCK, which starts with a "G" for those who weren't paying attention, because we realize that it is difficult to find soundtracks. Lil' gremlins get to them sometimes an' move 'em around or something huh?
Male Diva: ...I think I can find it on my own.
Me: You go do that.
Customer I was helping: Some people...
Me: Yea. You'd think after the age of 30 you'd be able to operate fine without your mother's breast milk.

People have two eyes an' one mouth.
Why must the customers always try out the mouth first?
Use what you got more of people.
Just use the ladies at the bars with the low-cut tops in the wintertime as an example.

*sigh*
Made alot of new friends.
Dealt with alot of bad customers.
Even became partially racists towards a very specific ethnic group.
Good times.

Sure am gonna miss the weekly paychecks though.

Acapulcos in San Marcos.
8pm.
Magic.
Just pure magic.
In a boyish kinda way.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"I saw her picking her nose like no one was there.
That's the kind of girl I want, a girl who doesn't care." - David Choi

Eh.
I got distracted.
Dating does that to a person I guess.

Things to post about:
- last day of work
- blond moment
- down to 2

So many fun stories.
So many in fact, I'm probably gonna end up with a multi-post day.

Whooooa!!!
I know huh?

So Sunday was my last day at Frys selling cellphones an' whatnot.
I was finally allowed to leave one week 'fore my one year anniversary working there.

Mandatory morning meeting at 7am on Saturday morning.
My friends/co-workers decided it's a great idea to drink the night before.
Drunken Monopoly, pull an all-nighter, than go straight to the morning meeting.

So roughly drinking from 9pm-6am.
Most of 'em conked out early.
Went home, shower, changed into work clothes, showed up for the morning meeting.

Free food wasn't so great.
Skit was just a rush job by management.
Awards given out had everybody questioning.
I think the fact that I drank so much just made that meeting go by faster.
That an' a pair of booty shorts that had every heterosexual guys attention at least 8 times that morning.

Everyone gets to go home.
I get to go straight into work.
Probably hungover an' definitely sleep deprived.
But I'm Reggie.
Still made sales left an' right an' handed them off to anybody that was around.

Liver hates me.
Full shift later I get back home an' pass out.
Plan was to go out an' celebrate some more.
Body just didn't let me.

I'm either gettin' too old or I need to stay away from Irish Whiskey.
With Hypnotik.
An' Jagermeister.
An' Sparks.
An' a heapload of assorted beers.

"Only you Reggie. Only you."

I've been hearing that alot lately.
Must be fun bein' me.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"I'd like to park my car in your garage of love." - Anonymous

Yesterday was a bust.
And not just because my friend showed up to support.
(Meet her to get joke)
YOU rock by the way.

It's because I spent two weeks choreographing my performance for yesterday's karaoke contest only to find out that they didn't have my song.

Which song you ask?
I'm tempted to keep it under wraps until next week.
But I figure it'd be funner to build up anticipation for it.

Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way

Mmmhmm...

Next Wednesday night.
21+
Acapulco in San Marcos.
Reggie doin' boy band stuff.

Yup.
You're just wetting yourself in excitement now huh?

If you don't like my performance, I'll buy you a drink.
Water shots all around.
Tap water though.
I like it rough.

The night wasn't a total loss though.
For some reason, it was cute lady night at Acapulco.
Granted, the majority of 'em were older than me.
I'm an equal opportunity dater though.

So yea, there's a good chance my dating prospects might be increasing by the end of the week.
From 3 to 7.
For those that were curious.
Damn nosy people.

You're just usin' me for good lines huh?
Oh well.
If you laugh, even if it's at my expense, I'm just happy that you're laughing.

There's something I've been wanting to ask you the whole night...
How you doin'?

Not the best, but still cheesy.
I think I was just thrown off by the fact they didn't have my song.
An' how people didn't show up to support.

I got numbers an' people buying me drinks.
Life usually balances out.
Eventually we'll have a consistently great sports team in San Diego.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"I'll take off all my clothes for you. If that's what you're into." - Flight of the Conchords

A repost for the non-myspace crowds.

And then some dialogue.

Yesterday just ended up bein' one of those days where you find it necessary to find some distraction from remembering what happened in the form of alcohol.

Didn't realize how much fun I've been missin' out on while I was takin' a break from bar-hopping.

So yea, blind dates.
Good times for the most part.
Yesterday bein' one of those exceptions.
For the sake of privacy, I'll refer to that one girl in this lil' story as "that one girl".

So this is one setup by some of my acting friends.
"You'll like her, she's bright, great smile, has nice boobage, an adventurous type."
"She has teeth right? I kinda noticed that was important to me recently."

Via text messaging, we decided that sushi for dinner sounds great.
I also learn that she loves my blogs.
I walk in and head over to the sushi bar to what I think is that one girl based on my friends' description.

Me: You're "that one girl" yes?
Her: Yea... YOU'RE Reggie?
Me: Yea, I've lost alot of weight since I took that profile pic.
Her: ...
Me: I've cutback on ice cream.
Her: ...
Her: I'm not into asian guys.
Me: Me too. Well, most dudes in general. There are some I'd turn gay for.
Her: ...
Me: So did you even bother to look at the rest of my profile? Like that part where I list that I'm asian... maybe even look at my pics?
Her: ....
Me: We need smarter friends.
Her: Yea. I think I'm gonna leave now.
Me: I'm an asian at a sushi bar. I'll be fine. Pleasure meeting you.
Her: Yes. It's just that I've got alot of homework.
Me: No worries. It's Thursday, it's understandable.
Her: Bye.
Me: Mmmhmm.
*she leaves*
Sushi Chef: Wow.
Me: Yea. Probably goin' home to scrape the dirt out of her vagina too.
Sushi Chef: *laughs*
Me: Whoa! You're like the first sushi place I've seen w/ tequilla.
Sushi Chef: Only at our place.

Too bad I'm not a fan of silver patron anymore.
Story for another time.
At the least, I got my first round of sushi for free.
'Cuz apparently I'm entertainment.
Made the best of the night.
Bar-hopped after a hiatus of what seemed like forever.
Made a bunch of new friends too.
Welcome to my life.

One has to wonder though: is "that one girl" ever gonna read my blogs again?
And why do I keep letting my acting friends set me up?
At least check for split ends.
---------------------------------

Possible book titles:
- And then I get published.
- And then there's this book.
- Have you seen my wiener?
- Practical jokes w/ divine beings.
- eh?

Possible Cafe names:
- Yup Cafe
- That One Cafe
- My Cafe
- Cafe Mine
- Cafe Sure
- Not Your Cafe

Boys names that'll probably never be OK'd by a future wifey:
- Dat Guy
- Hit Me
- Reginald von Oppenheimer Reinbach III
- Rainbow
- Broken Condom

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"You look better with the lights off." - Anonymous

I'd say I'm a social butterfly.
Maybe even admit to bein' a flirt on occassion.
More than likely, I'm just overly friendly.

For now, I'm gonna try my best to remember verbatim my last conversation that got myself a new friend.
Hurrah for hot chocolate an' StarBucks.

Her: Can I help you? *smile*
Me: *smile* Could I get a venti hot chocolate please?
Her: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that.
Me: Venti hot chocolate please. Sorry, my voice is kinda shot from last night.
Her: I noticed. What happened to it?
Me: Kinda blew out my voice singin' the other night. I owed my friend a serenade, kinda went too all out. At least my voice is a bit sexier.
Her: *slight smile* I'd have to agree... So you sing?
Me: Yup. Did you want me to add you to the list of ladies I needed to serenade? *trademark smirk*
Her: *giggle* Maybe...
Me: Than we're probably gonna need to exchange contact info. If anything, you can find out if my normal voice is sexy too.
Her: *laughs* I'd like that.
Me: Nice. I'd be more than willing to use my free nights and weekend minutes on you.
Her: *laughs* I'm flattered.
Me: Play your cards right, I might take you out to a fast food restaraunt an' let you super-size your meal. *smirk*
Her: *laughs*
Me: Man that's an awesome smile. So the first thing you're gonna do after your shift is over is call me up right?
Co-worker: If she doesn't, I will.
Me: I'm an equal opportunity dater. So I'm game.
Her: *laughs* I probably will.
Me: Probably? I must be losing my touch... *smirk*
Her: I will, don't worry.
Me: I figure I have to now seein' as how I need to pickup a GPS system because I keep finding myself gettin' lost in that great smile of yours. *smile*
Her: *blush*
Co-workers: *laughs*
Customer that just got into line behind me: *laughs*
Me: So yea... I still need to pay for my drink.
Her: Oh! Right! Sorry..
Me: No worries. I got to see that smile again.
and right before I left...
Me: If I'm this creative with my words, just imagine me in bed. *trademark smirk* G'nite ladies!
*more laughter*
---------------------------------------

See peeps.
Overly friendly.
Yea...

Still doin' the blind date thing too.
If only because I realized they usually lead to great stories.

Mini-vacation's also sparked my creativity.
Been gettin' alot of writings done.

Think I'm just gonna go w/ a cheap ukulele for now.
Because I want to hit up more open mics by the end of the year.
Maybe even drag my younger brother with me.

So how's life on your end?

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"Love is so easy to understand when you see an old couple holding hands." - Gregory Page

And then there’s a blind date story.

So I figure that enough people have gotten a kick out of this story so far, why not share it with the masses?

Last week.
Standard first date for myself is a place with non-alcoholic beverages so we can interview each other.
Place of choice this time: Starbucks.

Beautiful 22yr. old, half-japanese, half-white woman with a wit that can keep up with mine.
Ending our mini-date, I'm thinkin' to myself that I've found an awesome lady to add to the rotation until I can figure out what I'm truly looking for.

So she walks me to my car.
I set my drink on the roof.
I turn around...
*BAM*
I'm slammed against my car while she proceeds to kiss me.
A really deep kiss.
Like deep kiss with tongue.
Lots of tongue.
Like enough tongue to try to go down through my body an' undo my zipper.

I guess I'm charming.
I just didn't think I was THAT charming.
Couldn't help but find myself thinking a few things while I noticed she got whipped cream all over my driver's side window.

"Oooh nice."
"Desperate much?"

I kinda like aggressive girls, just not that aggressive.
I'm more like a handshake on a first date type of guy.
Maybe I found myself a closet-freak.

...tee hee.

I figure our next date'll be somewhere that doesn't have alcohol.
Or any means to tie me up with.

Seriously though, I'm not sure why I keep accepting blind date offers.
At the least ones setup by my acting friends.
I think the only reason I do 'em now is because I usually get fun stories for the masses.
And in turn, scare more people from ever wanting to try 'em out.

Feel free to keep sending 'em my way though.
Might even luck out one of these days.
----------------------------

Get a mini-vacation of sorts next week.
Not allowed to quit my job, as a compromise I got my hours cut back to two days a week.
Starting next week.
Here's to hopin' real estate picks up even moreso for me.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"Poverty is ever the foe of need." - Anonymous

And then there's charity.

I'm a regular blood donor.
I give out spare change to those in need.
I even let my lady friends use my phone number as a decoy one for guys that they have no interest in whatsoever.

It's been awhile since I've done charity work on a grander scale.
One for the greater good and whatnot.
Which is why my friend and I have decided to put together a non-profit charity.

The BSBF
Broken down:
The
Bring
Sexy
Back
Foundation

If I had a camcorder, I probably would've put together an infomercial for it.
For now, please enjoy this rough edit of the script.

Shots of nature, gentle wildlife.
Voice Over: It has always been wildly debated as to what created life on this planet.

Shots of individual babies laughing. Followed bu individual shots of what's being said.
VO: But we do know what created one Mike Kaess...
Music from Barry White, scented candles, cheap wine, and a broken condom.

Shot of Mike using the Captain Morgan stance overlooking an ocean, preferably a clean one.
VO: It was in the year 1982 when he graced our world.
To all of us though, it would be the mid-to-late 90's when he would start making his great impacts.

Home movie clips.
Mostly embarrassing ones. Band, cosplay, work uniform, toilet training, stuff like that.
VO: It was his years in high school where he would give us a glimpse of the obscene awesomeness that is Mike Kaess.
With the dawn of a new century, alcohol, and a karaoke bar we'd see it explode unto the masses.

Clip of Mike Kaess performing "Bye Bye Bye"

Clips of Mike bar-hopping, jumping around near the front of the stage at a Leperkhanz show, and laughing with friends.
VO: Mike Kaess touched lives.

Series of short interview clips.
Random A: RADDEST FUCKING DUDE ALIVE!!!!
Random B: I've worked with him. I wouldn't say he's well liked... Well hung... yes.
Random Beatnik complete w/ bongo: Hands. Touching me. Stop. Daddy stop.
Random C: I wouldn't touch that with a 10ft. pole.
Random D: I like pudding!

Sunset. Mike wearing stunna shades overlooking the horizon.
VO: 2006 would have him hearing the call to bring his awesomeness to a different state. Perhaps one not as deserving or needy as ours.
The state of Texas.
Understandably, he was immediately missed.

Series of short interview clips.
Random A: RADDEST FUCKING DUDE ALIVE!!!!
Random B: There's a sadness in my pants.
Random C: Wait. Who are we talking about?
Random D: I like pudding!

Shot of a poster for the movie Pearl Harbor with the title circled and the word PLOT pointing to it.
VO: Really missed.

Some generic tele-sales place. VO guy sitting casually on the edge of a desk of one of the employees.
VO: Which is why this organization was setup.
The BSBF or as it's more widly known now: The Bring Sexy Back Foundation.
It's main purpose is to bring one of Southern California's more treasured commodities back.
If not for the span of his lifetime, at least for two weeks.
Just a $5 donation can help satiate the masses that grew to love him in Southern California and at the least break the monotony that is his life in Texas now.

Clip of Mike microwaving a hot pocket. The microwave playing Europe's "Final Countdown" while it works.
VO: Sad is it not? To know that he's not being properly used.
Which is why we need you to help us.
The BSBF which is a non-profit organization.
Send us your donations.
Don't stop at just one.
Help us to create magic and bring back life to Southern California.

Shot of attractive lady posing seductively in a bed.
Shot of door to bedroom slowly fillling with fog.
Final Countdown again starts playing.
Laser effects.
Feet step into.
Camera pans up to Mike standing proudly.
VO: With just $5, help us to bring purpose back to our lives.

Back to shot of Mike in bedroom.
More Final Countdown.
Camera to the back of him centered on his head.
While looking over his shoulder:
Mike: The reason I love you...
Is not because I love you...
But because I only love you.

fade out.
------------------------------------

Again, non-profit.
I'm being serious.
He's already got a place to crash for his eventual two-week visit here.
He'll be using my bed.
I'm content with taking the couch if I have to.
What we really need are funds to cover everything Mike wants to cram into that two week period.
Visits with old friends in the form of bar-hopping and concerts.
Another epic night in downtown SD.
Appearances at the karaoke bars where people still whisper his name.
And food would be nice too.

So again, non-profit.
Consider it as something to help push humanity in the right direction.
Donations are being accepted.
If there is a surplus I'd probably use it towards getting an XBOX 360 for the apartment.

Non-profit.
We'd probably want to be leaving obscene tips wherever we go too.

Ladies and gentlemen, open up your hearts and your wallets.
If we got at least $5 from every single heart he's touched during the blessed times we had him here it'd be more than enough to cover his trip out here,

If we up it to $20, we could even setup a big screen in the living room in time for football season.

Thank you for your time.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"I'm too fly to be depressed." - Ne Yo

It's been awhile hasn't it?
If you don't mind bein' patient...

Stories and writings are all headed your way!!!
[smile]
[fanfare]

Happy Bday America.

Standard repost for the non-myspace crowds.

And then there's an update.

An excerpt from an actual conversation:
Her: You know, everytime I see your penis, I swear it's bigger than the last time.
Me: I figured those extra situps everyday would pay off somewhere.
Me: Wait... was that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?

Not the reason why I stopped dating her.
Or any of 'em.
It had nothing to do with genitalia or any of the inner mysteries that happen between two ideally consenting adults behind closed doors.

What's the point I'm heading towards?
I've been a super single as of last Tuesday.
Bad planning on my part.
Should've at least waited until after my bday.
'Cuz I could use a nice backrub.

Why the halt in all of the dating?
There was a mutual feeling of lack of growth in 3 of the 4 relationships.
The last one preferred bein' super isolated an' would've required more work than I'd like to be putting in at this stage of the relationship.
I also felt like I needed a break on all aspects.
Physically, mentally, spiritually, financially...
If anything, consider it a step towards ending world hunger.

Does that mean no more fun stories?
I've compiled a bunch.
And I'm not entirely opposed to dating, just give me a few weeks to recharge.
Blind dates can be more work than fun sometimes.

Birthday plans?
Car loaned out to roommate.
SeaWorld with anybody that wants to go for half the day.
Job opportunity that night at 7pm.

Need any presents?
I'm content with what I have.
As far as my resolutions go for this year (big screen, bed) I'll take care of 'em myself.
Again, the only thing I could use this year is a backrub.
Ladies need only apply.

If you really want to get me something, cash.
That way we can pool all the tiny donations together an' I can pick up a season pass to Disneyland.
'Cuz I'm a major fan of funnel cake.
Either that or a ukulele, still need to pick up a decent one.

So yea, ended up hurtin' a finger last week also.
Limited my guitar practice alot.
At least I've been gettin' more work on my writings done.
Which is what I'm off to do now.
-----------------------

Think that covers everything.
Man, I've posted alot of blogs here.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"The drinking age in Poland is, I have $3." - Anonymous

Turns out my individual awesomeness holds no bounds.
Can you guess which one's me?

TrustySidekick77 (11:07:13 PM): you know it
Howslife14 (11:07:41 PM): yes i do it
Howslife14 (11:07:51 PM): I know it
TrustySidekick77 (11:07:58 PM): i've karaoked every night this weekend
Howslife14 (11:08:05 PM): what is it?
Howslife14 (11:08:08 PM): nice
TrustySidekick77 (11:08:11 PM): yeah
Howslife14 (11:08:17 PM): an' you got in trouble for bein' your charming self
TrustySidekick77 (11:08:22 PM): i did every rose has its thorn last night
TrustySidekick77 (11:08:27 PM): you know it
Howslife14 (11:08:32 PM): we really need to figure out how to turn off our respective charms
Howslife14 (11:08:41 PM): awesomeness
Howslife14 (11:09:33 PM): good thing you've got newcastle an' ice cream
Howslife14 (11:09:43 PM): roommates ate my ice cream
TrustySidekick77 (11:09:53 PM): wow, how did you know i was eating ice cream?
TrustySidekick77 (11:10:01 PM): its Hot Chocolate flavored
Howslife14 (11:10:04 PM): but I've substituted what lil' kahlua I had left
Howslife14 (11:10:14 PM): you mentioned it near the beginning
TrustySidekick77 (11:10:20 PM): Chocolate with Marshmellows and chocolate flakes
Howslife14 (11:10:20 PM): or I'm pyschic
Howslife14 (11:10:42 PM): oh wait, wrong conversation
TrustySidekick77 (11:10:49 PM): lol
Howslife14 (11:10:52 PM): damn, guess I'm psychic
TrustySidekick77 (11:10:57 PM): definitely
Howslife14 (11:11:32 PM): think I just got myself a new blog
Howslife14 (11:11:41 PM): been awhile since I've posted on my other one
TrustySidekick77 (11:11:43 PM): glad i could help
Howslife14 (11:12:05 PM): did you want to be anonymous or should I just cut & paste this conversation?
TrustySidekick77 (11:12:21 PM): cut and paste is fine, i like to get credit for my work
TrustySidekick77 (11:13:11 PM): alright, imma head to bed
Howslife14 (11:13:48 PM): g'nite man
TrustySidekick77 (11:13:52 PM): night
Howslife14 (11:13:54 PM): boobies
Howslife14 (11:14:06 PM): cuz you tend to dream 'bout the last thing you think 'bout
TrustySidekick77 (11:14:10 PM): you're a good friend.... good friend

So why do I share this with everyone?
Because it's been awhile since I've posted here, an' this conversation made me laugh.
'Cuz I really needed a good one after the way this weekend was.
Hopefully this week'll be somewhat of a return to normalcy, or at least get me ready for my birthday week.

And apparently I write excellent speeches.
I've got another one written for another friend.
Question is, should I share it with the world?

'Til my next post, feel free to enjoy this spoken word piece.



Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"No. You're not hot." - Anonymous

A repost for the non-myspace crowd.

And then a wedding speech.

Congrats to the Sebrings.
They're still in Vegas honeymooning it up.

I did offer to write their wedding vows for them.
-Mmmhmm.
-Sure.
Glad they were wise enough to realize I was joking an' declined.
'Specially w/ the speech.
Cuz it probably would've turned out to be something like this:

First off, I want to say congrats an' all that other good stuff to the newlyweds.
Now, we're all here to celebrate the joining of two lives an' the loss of one's sex life.
Because true love shouldn't be about sex.
It shouldn't be about blowjobs, titty-fucking, doggy-style, missionary, the 69 position, quickies, public "outings", motor-boating, how many fingers you can fit in a hole, or whatever exotic position you can grab out of the kama sutra.

No.
It's about the joining of two lives.
Not the joining of genitalia an' orifices.
Because sex is not the important factor here.
We're here to bare witness to the beautiful sight that is the joining of two souls to start off on a path of glorious discovery that is their new life together.

Not to be confused with the consummation of their marriage.
To make love, to do the horizontal mambo, to hide the salami, to vacuum the carpet, to get to the bottom of the mystery, to park the car in the garage, to play hide an' go seek, to moor the boat in the dock, to make Mr. Winkey happy, to round the bases, to spit in the cave, to tame the one-eyed monster, to ride the pole, to march the penguin, to tickle tiny tim, or to dip the spoon in the pudding.

It's not about sex tonight, and I'm not sure why it keeps coming up.
Because David and Lailani aren't single.

I am.
I didn't come here tonight with a date and that thin mattress on the floor of my apartment I call my bed could use some company tonight.

But in all seriousness, just look at these two an' the way they stare into each others eyes.
The insane amount of happiness they inspire each other with.
The same craziness that I wouldn't mind having.
To go beyond being coocoo for cocoa puffs an' find the mind-numbing madness that true love can inspire.
You two should be ashamed of yourselves for how happy you are together.
Not really.

Dave, Lailani, you both truly define what awesomeness is and I love you in the most manly, heterosexually way that's possible.
May your relationship last longer than a reality show couple an' spawn grandchildren to make your parents happy.
Cheers!
-----------------------

Man it was hectic the past few days.
I'm running low on quotes again.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"Shots rang out. As shots are wont to do." - Anonymous

I need to start writing again.
Or at the least, start up my collection of Def Poetry Jam.
That was a blatant bday gift idea huh?
Enjoy.



Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"I need to write." - J. Ivy

Neighbor's child is REALLY cranky.
Either that or someone's dead.
I'm hopin' someone just needs a nap.
You'd think after 20+ mins their voice would get tired.

Anyways.
I'm posting song lyrics.
Because I haven't done that in awhile.
And I can think of a few ladies to apply this to.

Reynard Silva - Everytime

It could have been someone else
But no it's you girl that is constantly inside my head
Maybe I'm delirious, feeling so far out
Because a girl like you never comes my way
Whenever you walk past by
I feel giddy inside and my heart skips a beat or two
Wondering why you're in my dreams
Something I can't figure out
But all I know is that it's you

Everytime I see you I
I don't know what to say
Maybe it's because I
Think about you everday
Your smile, your happiness
Is the key to my heart
Please don't look the other way

What else can I say
I'm telling you the truth
You've gotta let me know
If I'm wasting my time
Come you help me girl cuz I
I don't know what to do
All I can do is hope you feel the same way too

Girl now that I have told you how I feel
Tell me if it's wrong or if it's real
I want to know you're every feeling
Don't leave me out in the dark alone
If you don't feel the same way as I do
Than I
I won't push it out on you
If I never heal my heart
But for now this is how I feel

Everytime I see you I
I don't know what to say
Maybe it's because I
Think about you everyday
Your smile, your happiness
Is the key to my heart
Please don't look the other way

What else can I say
I'm telling you the truth
You've gotta let me know
If I'm wasting my time
Come you help me girl cuz I
I don't know what to do
All I can do is hope you feel the same way too

What more do I have to lose
If I don't even have you
Why keep my feelings inside
Might as well tell you now
Because girl I can't hide

Well let me know if I'm not the one you're searching for
Cuz I really need to know
I want these feelings to grow
Because I've fallen for you

Everytime I see you I
I don't know what to say
Maybe it's because I
Think about you everyday
Your smile, your happiness
Is the key to my heart
Please don't look the other way

What else can I say
I'm telling you the truth
You've gotta let me know
If I'm wasting my time
Come you help me girl cuz I
I don't know what to do
All I can do is hope you feel the same way too
-------------------------------------

Think I transcribed that one right.

So when does one become too old for crushes?
Can safely say I'm sprung though.
For now, just slowly feeling my way around an' tryin' to make sure it's not just infatuation.
On both of our parts.

The way I look at it, we're all just tryin' to find someone to be comfortable with naked.
At the least, find someone to mix & match genitalia & orifices with.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"Just consider my nipple a service button." - Anonymous